Twisted Love

love

Twisted Love you came around,

And made my whole world spin;

And then you set me to the ground,

And under your shadow I could lean.

Twisted Love you are like a tornado

who woke up the most silent volcano’

But did you see, that you took me to the sky

And left me there to die, so high…

Smiling, you left again,

And left me to the vain,

And made me wonder one more time

If happiness can be for everyone!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/poetry/

 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Twisted Love

  1. You wanted a criticism! I have one of it.
    i like this poem but i’would have deleted the two last verses. You would have been able to stop at “if hapiness can be for everyone!” to keep the authenticity of the poem and the intensity of the previous verses.
    The two last verses allow to make a “sizain” (a stanza of six verses) and that, it’s stylish. But i don’t like the last verses, if you want to please me, find others verses!
    But Without the two last verses, it would be a perfect poem!

    • Thank you so much for your input. The fact is that when I wrote the poem it didn’t had the last two verses but when I published it ( almost 8 months after) I added them. So the first inspiration was the good one:) I’ll keep that in mind for the future. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and criticise them. I appreciate it! Hugs!

  2. Pingback: Why..?? **NaPoWriMo** | Every Smile Has A Reason

  3. Pingback: Viral Spiral | litadoolan

  4. Pingback: This Is Only A Test – A Sestina (Time for Poetry Challenge) | chey being

  5. Pingback: Guest Post – A Special Short Story Written by Helena Hann-Basquiat – “Poetry Slam, Daddy-O!” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s