I believe in…

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I woke up today feeling restless and tired. I remember bits and parts of what I dreamed about. Many people say that dreams are life’s that happened, that when you dream you walk between your lives as time is relative and not a linear map. I wonder sometimes if that is the truth, if the people we meet in one life we meet in the other ones and if we are supposed to learn something with every life. When I was a child, I use to think that life is so long and I couldn’t perceive the meaning of the expression ” time flies”. Now I can’t perceive my ideas as a child, time does fly by in an instant and it never feels enough.

Through the years I’ve searched for answers. for ideas, for a logic in time, in people, in events, in coincidences, in books and in myself. I only came to the conclusion that nothing is truly accurate or true, nothing is what it seems and yet we have beliefs that things are supposed to be in a certain manner.

One day I started believing that there isn’t just an answer for everything and that if you open your eyes and listen to the world around you, there are always the answers you need.

I believe now that every encounter with someone its for a purpose, at least a lesson to learn, that time is not as we know it, that I’ve done some things before and I just learn how to improve it, that I’ve been to places before this life and I needed to get back there again. I believe that everything speaks to you through its energy, from  a leaf to a human. We must have a reason for being here, for repeating some things, and my belief is that we are here to remember how to love unconditionally; to share the love we receive, to love all around us and accept that all that comes in our path is there to teach us a lesson. If we don’t learn it we will never move on and develop more.

I believe that love and fear are the greatest powers in this world and I have lived so much in fear that I know its every depth and illusion of power and possessiveness. But love is freeing, love is secure and redeeming. I found it to be so hard to let myself dive in it that I thought I will never be able to do it. It ripped apart every piece of my being but it all together again like I was a puzzle. And here I am, in it, loving it, spreading it, learning from it.

I believe in love, do you?

The picture belongs to a wonderful photographer Alan Organ

This post participates in the Daily Prompt

Believe

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Happiness

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I had to become truly happy to be able to see who I truly am. And to achieve it, is a one day at a time step, from the steps I’ve prepared.

But to be truly happy was and is a totally different story.

One thing that took me the longest to learn, was to love myself and all that comes with that, good and bad. The bad things, events, teach us lessons that if are learned we wont repeat them or let them occur again. And when I thought I had managed to accomplish that I realized that there is more. Loving all around you, life, people. And people are tricky. It’s a very vulnerable thing to love them, despite how much they’ve hurt you or how much you try to avoid them. I love some from distance. A distance from where they can’t hurt me anymore, but I am still grateful that they have teached me some important lessons of what not to achieve or look for in life, and that was their purpose. I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes, that’s for sure, but if they would ever need my help, I would be there.

You know kids, are born kind and full of love. And they love you at first sight and get passed sorrow with wind’d speed. I think this is one important thing we forget as adults. We don’t love people at the very first sight,  we try to know them better to see if they fit into our lines of people we can accept and then maybe, just maybe we might care for them. And the sorrows, the sadness we can bring one another can last for years. What a waist of time and energy! It amazes me still, how people can hold grudges for years and never let them go, to be free, happy. You can’t hold grudges and be happy.

Oh and life is so short. It is hardly giving you a heads up that it will end at a certain point and if you manage to see that point, then you will see how much time you’ve lost with grudges that haven’t brought you anything. When you manage to get pass that, you should start some mindfulness exercises, and just be present where you truly are, not in the present or the dreams of the future, and then my friend you will start to see the first glimpses of happiness.

Happiness isn’t found in a person or a moment but in all persons around you, in nature, in a song’s bird, in a whisper, a touch, a smile, a song. And when you are there, you will see the potential you have and everything around you, and that only sky is the limit.

Dare to be happy, dare to live now, dare to be!

 

*picture is taken by me in Firenze, at Ponte Vecchio – a place where I felt truly happy- soon a story about it –

Been too long

 

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It’s been too long since I was here…my mind asked so many times to write and start writing again but I just wanted to stay away. Wondered if I ever stayed away enough I would get rid of the intense urge of writing. But I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking of things to write, new rhymes, and couldn’t fall back asleep. So I am here, I can’t stop. I need to write, in the same way I need to drink water. And it goes the same with painting. Each of these passions are eating me from inside, and just need to burst out every chance they got.

Looking back now through all that I have written before my break, I just realized how  much I have changed. Or maybe just grew up more and more. Life taught me so many lessons this last year that I feel I am a whole new person. Reborn again with more strength, will, love for the others and most importantly more acceptance. I have new plans, new ideas and a total different view upon my present and future. And I won’t stop writing anymore 🙂

Glad to be here again!

Sometimes we just need a little magic

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A scream is pumping down my ear. My face is like porcelain. It doesn’t show any expression. My eyes are empty but look ahead. My mouth is closed but words knock at it’s door without rest. And I wait, and wait for time to go by and the truth to be revealed. But, the time passing is making me feel elder and tired. I feel like I have no patience anymore and I’ve replaced it with numbness. I’m tired of new beginnings but I crave for them constantly. I’m afraid of losing myself into simplicity and destroy my complex personality with endless stupid people, and simple and unimportant matters. I don’t know what I wish for and time passes by without giving me a break to sort things out. At least I have the falling starts that wait for me to put a wish upon each, so that they can move the universe around for me.  How do I find what I wish, when I am in numbness?

Maybe, a little magic can help!

The end never looked so bright

The end has no colors. It all fades into grey. And with everyday passing by, all turns into black. My soul is black. I decided just to quit wearing the white hat of joy and optimism. What is the worst that can happen, and haven’t already happened? I’m gonna try it. I think everything will be easier, and no expectations will be made. But, at the same time, empty. I feel like an empty soul with only colored memories. I need to get away from it all and see how it feels. It feels like we can do more or that’s the ending path. And what if I want no more path? No more truth, no more nothing. Empty is safe in a way. No more ways to get hurt. For now, I choose emptiness. d30ca171319d7390ab37a5306809d0b8