Been too long

 

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It’s been too long since I was here…my mind asked so many times to write and start writing again but I just wanted to stay away. Wondered if I ever stayed away enough I would get rid of the intense urge of writing. But I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking of things to write, new rhymes, and couldn’t fall back asleep. So I am here, I can’t stop. I need to write, in the same way I need to drink water. And it goes the same with painting. Each of these passions are eating me from inside, and just need to burst out every chance they got.

Looking back now through all that I have written before my break, I just realized how  much I have changed. Or maybe just grew up more and more. Life taught me so many lessons this last year that I feel I am a whole new person. Reborn again with more strength, will, love for the others and most importantly more acceptance. I have new plans, new ideas and a total different view upon my present and future. And I won’t stop writing anymore 🙂

Glad to be here again!

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Sometimes we just need a little magic

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A scream is pumping down my ear. My face is like porcelain. It doesn’t show any expression. My eyes are empty but look ahead. My mouth is closed but words knock at it’s door without rest. And I wait, and wait for time to go by and the truth to be revealed. But, the time passing is making me feel elder and tired. I feel like I have no patience anymore and I’ve replaced it with numbness. I’m tired of new beginnings but I crave for them constantly. I’m afraid of losing myself into simplicity and destroy my complex personality with endless stupid people, and simple and unimportant matters. I don’t know what I wish for and time passes by without giving me a break to sort things out. At least I have the falling starts that wait for me to put a wish upon each, so that they can move the universe around for me.  How do I find what I wish, when I am in numbness?

Maybe, a little magic can help!

The end never looked so bright

The end has no colors. It all fades into grey. And with everyday passing by, all turns into black. My soul is black. I decided just to quit wearing the white hat of joy and optimism. What is the worst that can happen, and haven’t already happened? I’m gonna try it. I think everything will be easier, and no expectations will be made. But, at the same time, empty. I feel like an empty soul with only colored memories. I need to get away from it all and see how it feels. It feels like we can do more or that’s the ending path. And what if I want no more path? No more truth, no more nothing. Empty is safe in a way. No more ways to get hurt. For now, I choose emptiness. d30ca171319d7390ab37a5306809d0b8

McSteamy

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 Every time since I’ve met you I keep thinking that your middle name should have been McSteamy ( yes, like McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy). Cause every time I am around  you, I feel like in a  hot sauna. I’m hot and I see steam coming out from my body.  I can’t take my eyes of you, I can’t think straight and my body is hot. And when you touch my skin, and breathe down my neck, I can’t stay on my own two feet. So you gently take me into the shower, in hot steam, under water, to feel each drop on my skin, each touch and each move. And how you smile when you see the goose bumps down my skin, when you feel my knees tremble..it’s priceless. And then I put my nails deep in your skin, so that you can feel my desire.  I love to hear you moan. Moan my name, babe…

I woke up…steamy morning. I need a shower. Oh steamy shower again. Where are you?

Past – no steam, present – steamy, future – can’t stop the steam. Let me bathe in you …

This post participates at the Daily Post Challenge!

Photo: Pinterest

Numb

I feel like in a boat, sailing with the sea, with no way to control it. I see a blue sky far ahead, maybe even some land, but it seems far and unreachable. It’s not very bad in my boat. It’s raining, but I’m not cold. The sea is pushing me everywhere, sometimes deeper into the sea, sometimes to the shore. I’m covered in leafs. Grey, auburn, green, yellow, reddish…many colors.

I feel nothing. I’m empty. The sea is so loud, that it’s covering every thought I had.

I close my eyes..better this way. Something burns my face. A ray of sun is caressing me. Feels good. I’m not numb anymore. Can you never go away?